100 Bits o' Trivia

A Politically Correct Christmas Carol

Heh

(Via Dean's World)

Thanksgiving

Also: In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I give you this. Ketchup on eggs is actually pretty good.

The Answer

The answer is Yes.

Silly Brits!

Seriously, the British have the most absurd government I've ever heard of. Of course, we've got a few of our own. For example, did you know that in Charleston, the fire department is legally allowed to blow up your house? Or that it's illegal to dance in public in Lancaster? Or that in my own hometown, Spartanburg, it's illegal to eat watermelons in the Magnolia Street cemetary?

Of course, the same source as the above, DumbLaws.com, informs me that the British government requires that you allow someone who knocks at the door to come in and use your bathroom and that companies are allowed to vote in London elections. Oh, and that, it's legal to shoot Scotsmen with a bow and arrow in York, except on Sundays.

Maybe the problem is just government in general....

Thanksgiving

I wonder what happens if, due to heavy Turkey Traffic, the couple is delayed and cannot arrive on time. Should they stop somewhere on the way and get a hotel room? (The answer is "no.") The driver has to let the passenger out and call a cab for her? They have to pick up a hitchhiker to chaperone?

Of course, who's going to turn them in?

More Asian Fun

(Via Dave Barry's Blog)

Dumb phrase

Okay.....

Come into my tu-uh-my, Oh-so-very yu-uh-my...

(Via Lileks. Although I'm pretty sure it's Korean, not Japanese.)

The Saddest News of the Whole Year.

That makes me sad. That is all.

Yet another one....

I love the expression of the girl on the left.

See Also: Here and here.

I'm almost hoping Kerry wins just for the entertainment value. These are fun!

(Via Baldilocks)

Another great shot of Kerry!

Seriously, the Kerry PR Dept. needs help.

(From Yahoo News via Lileks)

Language Pet Peeves

Being a business student, I encounter this word far too often. I must take care never to use it.

Speaking of business language, seriously, what's the deal with excessive, complicated words? I can understand them, but... why use them? For example, here is a passage from my Operations Management text:

Is that much verbiage necessary? You used too many words. First off, in bold above is the term they're defining, which is three or four words too long. I'd call the device in question a product checker, or ::teeth grit at overused word:: quality checker, or just checker for short. Name the device after what it does. Then you can just say "These systems automatically check products to ensure that they meet our specifications."

Frankly, text books are full of this... garbage. I'm reasonably certain that the writers and editors are being paid by the word rather than for well-written, clear works. (See also: Calvin and Hobbes)

Another example of needless complication was brought up by a commenter on Samizdata: Never say "interface with" when you really mean "talk to." That's just a dumb buzzwordphrase.

Just say what you mean.

Decent Poetry

Checkin' out the referal logs

To the guy who was searching for "sebring 'service engine soon,'" service your engine soon.

To the guy who was searching for "Wheels Exquisite homework," do your own homework already!

To the guy who was seaching for "screensaver of the canadian idols of 2004" ... Um. OK. Is that the northern equlvalent of American Idol? Why on earth would you imitate that? Do you admit the superiority of American culture?

To the guy who was seaching for "Blogjones": Congrats, you found me.

To the guy who was seaching for "drug test minute man synthetic urine": I don't have any for sale, sorry. Why don't you try not doing drugs before your drug test?

One last thing: My OneStat meter tells me that someone from BJU looked at my website yesterday. I wonder who it was. Hmm.....

This is hilarious

The CIA Website

(Ha, ha, cheap shot)

Then there's this:

Which instantly makes me think of this:

I've saved up nearly 3,000 Iraqi Points! That's almost enough for a free barrel of oil!

Strange Wording

"Your fellow beings"... That's pretty strange wording. Why not "other people"? Perhaps the people giving the scholarship have been in contact with aliens?

I've been encountering a lot of strange wording lately. This probably has something to do with reading textbooks. I honestly cannot believe people talk like this. To any business person reading this: the word utilize: Stop saying it right now. The word "use" is just as good, means the same thing, and takes less time to say. Likewise, instead of the word "quality," use the word "good." Think of the time you'll save by eliminating unnecessary syllables from your speech! You'll enhance corporate productivity and increase your bottom line!

::hands go to mouth::

Oh no! I'm becoming one of them!

That's... interesting...

Also:

So, where do I sign up to sell that? Also: Do they really need to buy someone's urine? Why not just have the researchers drink more bottled water?

Last quote:

Who knew?

"Please don't give me hot tongue, Mommy,"

I think that that's pretty clever. But, of course, the parenting "experts" are all up in arms about how it's abusive or something. ::shakes head::

I recently read a novel about the Spartans, the ancient Greek warriors. One of the characters said something to the effect of "We shed tears now to save blood later." It is far more merciful to cause a little bit of pain to a young child when he lies, and thus prevent a pattern of lying from developing, than to let him continue in his sin and let that pattern of sin ruin the child's life.

Now, is putting hot sauce on the tongue abusive? I think not. Punishment, by definition, is painful in some way. Even the ineffective, useless time-out method of punishment involves some small level of pain, the pain of not getting to do what you want. (This is a light pain, easily borne by even a child, and this quality renders "time-outs" ineffective as punishment measures. One wonders if that truth reflects on the general effectiveness of prison terms as punishment techniques.)

However, as one woman who went through this particular variant of punishment pointed out, "I don't need to resort to chemical warfare." Although she makes a gross overstatement of the severity of Tobasco treatment, she is correct; why not just spank the kid properly and be done with it?

(Via Fringe, Via the Carnival of the Vanities)

...and this doesn't show up in McDonald's commercials

They don't show this in the Olive Garden commercials...

Top Ten Dumbest Terrorists

The site provides links to the news stories that earned the terrorists their place in the list.

(Hat Tip: The Carnival of the Vanities, the roving list of many posts)

Today's Life Lesson Pop Quiz

Yum, yum, yum

Ingredients:

One (1) block sharp cheddar cheese

One (1) package of chocolate frosting.

Open cheddar cheese and set on a plate. Slather chocolate frosting on block of cheddar. Smooth. Cut into pieces. Makes 12 large pieces.

(What was really bad about this cake was it won 3rd place out of 4 entries in my division. And half of it was gone by the end of the night. Weird. It's like they took me seriously.)

Something to be proud of!

My Entry

Comics Update

Dilbert was also particularly good.

Now that I've shown some strips with good humor, it's time to smush those good feelings with a politically-oriented Non Sequitur cartoon (and in the funnies too!).

OK, so in the author's universe the Spanish Inquisition (i.e., state-sponsored religious terrorism) = the War on Terror (i.e., a fight against state-sponsored religious terrorism). If he even bothered to examine his own cartoon he'd seen the difference between real torture (involving physical pain a la the rack, the blade over the tortured one's head, and the boiling oil) and taking pictures of naked people. I mean, certainly what they did was wrong, and I think it was utterly foolish for Rush Limbaugh to call it "blowing off steam," but it's not torture.

Yesterday's Comics

And this is just hilarious:

But, of course, Doonesbury comes and messes things up

There's a place for lists of people who have died in Iraq, but the comics section isn't that place. The comics is for humor, not for sorrow or for political statements, although Garry Trudeau has consistently used his comic as his platform before.

There's very little that will kill humor faster than politics, if it isn't done right. Jay Leno (or his writing staff) can make funny jokes about the War in Iraq, but almost everyone else who tries is too bitter to pull it off.

But, while we're on the subject of lists of the dead:

Aww...!

There is nothing in the world that can't be made better with cute little dogs.

(Via The Patriette)

The Cost of Laziness

That'll work.

On a related note

Bathroom breaks are a basic human right

The school said, in response to a concerned parent, that "the bathroom is a privilege, not a right." Oh, really? And what, pray tell, are you going to do? Clean up the mess and pay for whatever psychological damage that wetting his pants would do to a seventh grade boy? (Because you *know* that his parents would sue. I would.)

The school says that the policy was designed "to monitor the school restrooms and stop students from skipping class" and to respond to bomb threats.

Lawrence Middle School's new motto: "Teaching kids about runaway government regulations in the name of safety."

(Via Common Sense and Wonder)

Tell us how you *really* feel

Fortunately for me, the Chick-fil-A I work at is a drive-through only, so, come closing time we just put a rope across the lane and start cleaning up. (AFAIK, the rope only been driven through once). We also have the advantage of being able to make fun of our customers when they're ordering, since they can't hear us. (No, we don't sell hamburgers. Please don't ask, it wasn't funny the first time.) On the other hand, LummoxJR works at an actual store, which means he he can't kick his customers out at will, and he has to wait to make fun of them on his blog.

He also restates his case for his mall's weekend curfew policy, which I disagreed with earlier. I still hate the idea, but I completely understand why they implemented it. I've never lived in an urban environment nor had to deal with gang problems (although I've read a great novel about them), so I am probably a bit naïve about such things. If you've got hordes of teenaged thugs wandering about the mall, by all means, you have to get rid of them, and there's really not another policy that's effective. You can't get rid of the bad without getting rid of the good too.

And there's also the epic tale of his former coworker Adel, which I found quite amusing. His experience reminded me of one of my current coworkers, a youngish teenage girl who I count myself blessed to never have to work with (She leaves at 4:30, which is when I show up). She has to be the most inattentive worker I've ever seen. One time she tried to leave without getting someone to take her headset for her, just leaving it on the counter. Another time, I heard last night, she almost left with the headset still on her head. Her worst incident in my experience was she was handing out drinks to some people (members of her family, I think) who apparently did not order or pay for them (they weren't on the screen). (I wasn't sure what was going on.) Worse, she hadn't made the 5 or 6 drinks before they drove up to the window, so I'm stuck having to make them as she's handing them out. Meanwhile, paying customers have to wait a long time for her free-loading family to get out of the way, and I look bad because they're waiting.

But, since Chick-fil-A apparently has a "no firing" policy or something, she's still here. Seriously, the worst thing they will ever do to you is ask you to go home early. Very, very frustrating.

So, if anybody knows of a job that doesn't involve dealing with other people that has very flexible hours, let me know.

(Rats! I just invited spammers to walk all over my email box. Hmm. Guess we'll see how good Thunderbird's spam filter is.)

Expensive Phone Number

When I last looked at it, it was going for roughly $16,000. Now, I think that it must be a business that wants this thing; think of the free publicity it has! No one would ever forget the number. And if you buy the rights to use the song... Wow. That number will be worth every penny that the company spends on it.

Ah! The wonders of transferable numbers.

(Via Slashdot)

It's up to $33K.

Update: Ebay suspended the auction, because the guy didn't technically "own" the phone number. It was over $200,000 when the auction was closed.